Manners are dead.
O, how I long for the days when people asked for things in the form of a question and said please.
I had no idea how commonplace it is to be rude.
So, I will let you in on a little secret. If you come into the Coffee Bean and say any of the following phrases, I promise that on the inside I am HATING YOUR GUTS.
“I’ll do a large vanilla latte….”
Uh, no you won’t. You’re not going to DO anything except pay. And grammatically, I’m not sure I even understand the justification for this phrasing.
“Iced Chai.”
…First of all, this is not a complete thought. It is also not anywhere approaching well-mannered. For all I know, you are still deciding.
“You can get me a single espresso.”
Am I supposed to feel priviledged that I get to cater to you?
AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE:
“I need a Large Caramel Ice Blended.”
I’m sorry, but you don’t NEED anything we sell at the coffee bean. You don’t NEED a five dollar, 1000 calorie drink. You just don’t. There are children in Uganda with no food or water and you NEED a large caramel ice blend?
Dear Gluttonous, Uncouth Consumers of America,
YOU DISGUST ME.
